Highly sensitive people have some challenges in life. They feel like they don’t fit in and don’t like shallowness, useless rules, disorganization and unkindness. They also tend to create barriers to guard themselves from a world that can hurt them.
The problem with that method is blocking out the world also blocks out relationships and happiness. It blocks blessings too. To live a truly authentic life, one must not block out the world but live within it using boundaries.
There are rules with boundaries and those who implement these seven rules will find they are living more within their vision for a healthy life:
- You must be nice to be around me or in my space. Sensitive people are wired to notice people, so they notice passive-aggressive comments or other unkind remarks, gossip or other negative talk. So, don’t invite those people to your home. Be cordial when you must deal with them, but don’t invite them into your life.
- Limit those taking advantage of your generosity.
Sensitive people love to give, but that means some will take advantage. This can make you feel physically sick or exhausted after spending too much time with them.
These people can be toxic, always complaining, always the victim and always in need of something. They will upstage you in drama every time and will suck you dry. It is best not to be around them.
- Don’t glorify busy.
The world today makes busy seem something we all should be. It is synonymous with productive. In reality, your busyness can suck you dry of energy for things that are really important like spending time with your spouse or kids, helping a friend, or just having quiet time.
Your busyness is not an indication of your worth. Learn to slow down. Develop meaningful conversation and create time for those.
Words are highly important to the highly sensitive person, so you should make them a part of your daily mental diet. Reading creates a good downtime, but it also informs as it soothes. Developing a connection with words written long ago that continue to speak to the heart reminds us all of us have the same needs and long for acceptance.
- Saying no is enough.
You don’t need to justify telling someone no. Most people don’t want to know the reason anyway. If you don’t feel good about saying no immediately, give yourself some time to think. Say you want to check your schedule, ask if you can call later or talk with your spouse. Sometimes, it saves you a lot of hassle to think before you respond. It also gives you a chance to come up with an alternate solution if you want to say no.
Some people, like family members, need boundaries along with the “no.” You may need to talk to them about boundaries and why you are setting them. Failing to do so will cause you to have resentment. This is a tough conversation for sensitive people, but one that needs to be done.
- Feeling heavily is okay.
This world doesn’t give a lot of credence to emotions. Highly emotional women are called hormonal, irrational and even unstable. Men who are highly sensitive don’t have it any better because they are deemed less masculine.
Even so, it is dangerous to bottle up feelings. The key to to make time and space to process them. The first way to practice that is to start journaling. This is a way of releasing negative, dormant feelings without causing pain for someone else.
- Develop a sense of humor and realize a lot of things aren’t that important.
Highly sensitive people will intuitively know things that aren’t meant for them. Until they realize this, they will take everything personally. Most of the time, how others behave and their moods are not about you. Let it go. It’s not important.
You need to realize others who are not sensitive will not pick up on your needs, so you need to learn to communicate with them clearly. The way they love you doesn’t mean they love you less.
As you work through these rules, know that it’s not selfish to implement them. Scheduling downtime, enjoying a good book, limiting activities to have a more quality life is not being selfish. It’s being healthy. It’s okay to want to protect your energy from those who drain it or toxic people and it is perfectly fine to create a long-lasting vision for your life. Trust instincts. Your gut will guide you to the life you want and deserve.