Energy vampires impact everyone. From a narcissistic boss to a clingy dinner date or a friend going through a traumatic transition, you leave an interaction feeling drained. It seems like almost immediately your mood shifts from something balance to one that is more irritable. A few minutes ago, you were looking forward to socializing and now you want to get as far away from people as possible! Although energy vampires are everywhere there are multiple ways to protect you from their vibration leaching ways! Below is a list of several types of energy vampires and how to navigate their draining actions to ensure you maintain an optimal energy and emotional state.
How to recognize them: The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders define narcissism as “a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration and lack of empathy.” This person craves power and control over others. They will seek out this dominance at all costs. Notice when a person manipulates a situation by giving you the silent treatment or gaslighting you. That’s them attempting a power grab, and that’s not ok!
How to protect yourself: Try to maintain your distance as life allows it. Narcissistic vampires will always see an issue as “your” problem as the are not capable of owning their actions in the situation. Yet, there is hope for those individuals expressing a strong urge to change their patterns. Find ways of setting healthy boundaries and support their efforts as they work hard to shed their extreme selfishness.
How to recognize them: These individuals fail to take responsibility for their action. It constantly seems like the world is against them, rather than be willing to work to create solutions to better their life. Even when people work to help them find action steps, they will rebut and tell you all the ways that option is impossible. Then they will be calling you up within the week still complaining about the same problem rather than working on more viable solutions.
How to protect yourself: You can’t provide anyone constant support except for yourself! You weren’t trained to be a therapist, so why do you feel like you always to serve as theirs. Set limits to what you are willing to do to be a supportive person in their life and make sure that includes them finding a trained professional to help them through their issues.
Drama Kings and Queens
How to recognize them: This person always finds drama despite their protests that they are turning over a new leaf. Anytime you are around them you feel like you are taking part in a reality show. Every issue becomes unnecessarily magnified. A cough instantly turns into a Covid concern. This consistent magnification serves to drawn in an audience, even if that results in the audience feeling sapped of all energy. You aren’t sure where to draw the line in the sand, because you want to be helpful, but you want to get off this emotional merry-go-round.
How to protect yourself: Start by focusing on doing guarded listening with them. Let them air out their feelings, but don’t ask any further questions because this will only prolong their rant. When things get too intense for you, incorporate a disinterested body language such as shifting your body away from the individuals and avoiding eye contact. You might also consider setting time limits for how much they ramble before you shift the conversation to something pertaining to you.
How to recognize them: These people are well-meaning curmudgeons but their never-ending stream of complaints leaves their audience feeling tired, anxious, and frustrated. This person may quickly point out your recent financial slump or ask if you “really need” that donut. Their jabs signal a need to exert control over other in a “doing it my way is the only successful way.”
How to protect yourself: Set and maintain boundaries! If this critic is a loved one point out how their words and action hurt your feelings. This will help to speak to their empathy and connection to you. If you are interacting with a controller, try saying “Thanks for your advice, I’ll consider it,” and continue to go about your day. Above all, never try to control a controller as it will only result in a power struggle and additional angst.
How to recognize them: This person will smile despite being agitated, and may even act in a sabotaging manner such as ghosting you over a past argument.
How to protect yourself: Focus on addressing a single issue and work with them to shift to a healthier behavior. If they frequently run late mention how uncomfortable you feel waiting for them in a public space and how you won’t make further plans with them until they can show you that they can manage their time better. Speaking up about your feeling will help to prevent a build-up of resentment as well as showing you if your feelings truly matter to them.
Be prepared before interacting with an energy vampire
Preparation can help you disarm them from hurtful behaviors to help break you both out of this toxic cycle. This act of self-care can help you prioritize which energy vampires are worth your time trying to rehabilitate and which must be banished. Try working with a supportive friend to practice what you want to say each energy vampire in your life.
Emotions are contagious and just as negative feelings can breed more lower vibrations, acting in a positive manner can help raise vibration for all parties involved. If you dealing with a depressed individual sharing a smile or passing along a compliment can brighten their day immensely.
Emotional vampires have real feelings
With the possible exception of a stubborn narcissists, emotional vampires can be rehabilitated. If someone has a true desire to change and grow, there is a potential for them (and your relationship) to heal. With time, patience, boundaries, and a good therapist this negative person can change for the better. Keep in mind, in most cases an emotional vampire is not being negative on purpose, they are just in a deep state of hurting. Lack of self-awareness and habitual bad patterns also play a key role in this toxic behavior. Moreover, at any point any of us can turn into an energy vampire. At times we can play the victim, voice criticism, or desire control. But we possess the gift of free will to recognize the signs of negative behavior and take steps to shift out of our rut.